Sharing Too Much??

Today I felt prompted to share something in Relief Society. I often times feel very uncomfortable when this happens because I worry that others might think I am sharing too much....or that I might embarrass my family members around me by "being a sharer"....or I sound too "churchy"....or that the sacred thoughts that burn so strongly within my heart will be taken "lightly." Pathetic I know....I definitely have a long way to go....but at least I have come to the conclusion that, even though I feel very uncomfortable the majority of the time sharing--and I might embarrass those who know me, I fear offending the spirit more (or losing the opportunity to be an instrument in His hands) that I will open my mouth.
Anyway, the lesson was on Prophets. The teacher asked the class if anyone would share an experience that they have had with prophets (or the words of the prophets) that have changed their lives or helped them personally. I sat there quietly waiting for someone to share their experience....with no thought of searching within to find something to share....when it hit me. It was a very recent experience that passed through my mind. It was something I didn't want to share....since it exposed a lot of my flaws....but as the experience flooded my mind and heart the spirit was so overwhelming that I literally had to take a deep breath...and then the next thing I knew my hand was raised. "What are you doing?!?!" I thought. "You don't want to share that! It doesn't relate to others...it is too personal and revealing!"
Too bad, I was called on. I took a deep breath....I even excused myself for the silent second that passed and then opened my mouth to share. After I shared my comment I sat there in utter fear. Usually grandma will lean over and say something nice...but alas nothing. Fear struck again. "Were the feelings of my heart and the spirit that I felt conveyed correctly. Was it a dumb comment...are others wishing I hadn't shared....did I embarrass my grandmother? Why is it I often feel compelled to share...Is my Father pleased...did I fulfill the task?" I sat worrying and worrying...how sad I am, I know.
At the conclusion of Relief Society I got up quickly. I wanted to leave and not have to face anyone. A friend next to me asked me a question before I could follow my grandma out of Relief Society room. When our conversation concluded I turned the other direction to find myself literally in the arms of an older woman. She hugged me for a very long time and thanked me deeply for sharing my comment. She made some references to my experience and said some very special words. At that moment I was so grateful I had not given into my fear of "sharing too much."
So, the point of this whole blog is don't be like me....share those thoughts of your heart--WITHOUT FEAR--when you feel the spirit prompt you. Don't worry about others....you may be an answer to someones prayer! Even if everyone else around you seems to think you are crazy, share (Samuel the Lamanite did)! Even if no one says anything to you after....have the confidence that you fulfilled what was asked of you! I have learned a lot from this experience. I hope that someday I will completely overcome my pathetic complex of worrying about what others think....but...until then....I hope I will always continue to overcome the fear of withholding my thoughts--when the spirit has directed me--to share...why because I always want to be an instrument in His hands...regardless of how pathetic others might think I am!