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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Winnie Who......

A few days ago I was asked to take a "personality test" for a stupid online dating service (yes, much to my dismay...and going against my own vow of never doing "the internet dating" thing.....I use the internet to meet new people. Let's just say being a divorced woman over 30 in an LDS community---not to mention a teacher to boot....makes meeting people of the opposite sex quite difficult!!!).
Anyway, my results are in and if you know of anyone who might be compatible with my personality feel free to send them my way to have a gander....I must say I have no more pride--I know pathetic...but according to "statistics"...my best chance of meeting someone (or anyone at this point) is through others---so I guess if I put it out there at least I tried!

I think it "hit the nail on the head."

My favorite part:
"You drive through life faster than the speed limit...."



In the category of "agreeableness":


You are best described as:

CONSISTENTLY TAKING CARE OF OTHERS

Words that describe you:

* Sympathetic
* Trusting
* Altruistic
* Selfless
* Tenderhearted
* Compassionate
* Straightforward
* Deferential
* Generous


A General Description of How You Interact with Others


"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can.

There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Though your motives arise from genuine compassion, some people might think of you as "a little too good to be true." They could suspect that your kindness is something you use to ingratiate yourself with others or to get them to like you. Others may suspect that your altruism is a mask for your own problems; you take care of others but never let others get to know you well enough to offer you their care. Some of this suspicion may be genuine; they just can't believe you're this kind. But it may also be triggered by envy; people see in you a tenderheartedness they don't find in themselves, and it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you with their suspicions.

Another critical response others may have may be something you want to take a serious look at. If you spend your time taking care of others, you may not have enough left to take very good care of yourself. If you're always asking, "What can I do for you?", you may not focus enough on your own needs. You're so busy taking care of others that you neglect yourself and empty your reserves of energy and good health. Like we said, give it consideration and if it doesn't fit move on.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

For the most part, people will feel gifted to come across someone like you. For those you help, you will be light in the darkness, a hand up when they've fallen into a ditch. Your true graciousness and selflessness is rather rare these days and is often a breath of fresh air in this all too often dog-eat-dog world. Others will see in you the kindness that each of us seeks in life, both in our own characters and in our relationships with others. And you will become a model of that honest compassion; someone others may even look up to. Hopefully that feels okay to you.


On the Openness Dimension you are:

CURIOUS

Words that describe you:

* Original
* Inventive
* Thinker
* Brave
* Eccentric
* Avant-Garde
* Out-of-Touch
* Unique

A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences

You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking

You drive through life faster than the speed limit, and when you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead your wheels leave the ground.

For people who like life at a safer speed, you move too fast and lose touch too often with the solid ground they prefer, hence their discomfort with you. As odd as you might find this, many people feel safe in the shelter of the world they already know. They like the familiar. They breathe easily and sleep deeply knowing with more certainty how the world works. So although they might enjoy your company and be curious about your latest notion of how to count backwards by threes, they can only take you in small doses. And they wish you'd quit trying to push the boundaries of their personal and social cosmos.


Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You


Even those whom you make uncomfortable know, as just about everyone does, that you're not a flake. You think well, and even your wildest fancies have their roots in the deep soil of sound ideas and tested beliefs. So even if some people don't want to drive at high speed with you, they will respect you for your courage as an innovative and unconventional thinker. You lend color and imagination to what would otherwise be the straight black and white lines of their work world and social environments.

A few more daring people of your circle might even learn from you to take a risk they would otherwise never consider. As comfortable as they are on solid ground, they may be curious about what it would be like to go faster than the speed limit, or paint the living room two shades of blue, or question ideas or beliefs they've fingered like sacred beads since they were children.

After all, they watch you do it, and you seem no worse for the risks you take. In fact, your eyes are wider and your breath quicker, and maybe they can find at least a bit of this for themselves. To be certain, they don't want their wheels to leave the ground, but maybe the next time they approach a speed bump they might just brace themselves and speed up just a little bit.

On Emotional Stability you are:


RESPONSIVE

Words that describe you:

* Open
* Accessible
* Too Sensitive
* Reachable
* Candid
* Unguarded



A General Description of Your Reactivity


You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people. You've got your life in a good place, your dominant mood is upbeat, and unless life has been particularly trying for you, you greatly enjoy the richness and intensity of life that being so open with your emotions brings you.

Sure there are times when your feelings come very close to the surface, and life becomes more complicated. At these times you may grow self-conscious, or feel a bit anxious. But all in all, you much prefer being open with your emotions, breathing in all that life offers, than shutting down any part of your emotional experience. Granted, there may be times when these emotions are hard but you realize that is part of life. And more often than not you feel enriched by your emotions, by your ability to be open to all that life brings you. You know that even when you have those times that get you down, there will be even more times when you see life in ways that others just can't.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Undoubtedly you have met some people who get uncomfortable being around you because your feelings are so close to the surface. They may keep a bit of distance, especially around any subject that might trigger an emotional topic they are uncomfortable with. Over time, they might even stay away from you more and more. You will find you have decisions to make; do you temper your style for their comfort or do you hope they will find ways to become more comfortable with emotional expressions? Given the richness that seems to stem from your emotional life the most meaningful response is probably very apparent to you.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

You are a cherished companion for those friends who can handle emotions well. They will appreciate the candor with which you express even difficult feelings like anger and fear. Your openness will make intimate conversations even more intimate, and make the connections between you as friends deeper and stronger. Some people who have trouble expressing their feelings might find in you a good example of how to be more vulnerable and more open. Your willingness and ability to share your emotions could encourage them to share theirs, and invite them into ways of being friends that will help enrich their lives.

Your approach toward your obligations is:

FOCUSED AND FLEXIBLE

Words that describe you:

* Casual
* Informal
* Compliant
* Reliable
* Organized
* Solid
* Dependable
* Uncommitted
* Genuine



A General Description of How You Interact with Others

When you take on a task at work or at home, you are reliable; you get the job done. In an organized way, you define the goal, lay out a plan, figure how long the task will take, and get to work "solid and dependable you".

But and this is important you're not a slave to the plan. You're committed to it, but not chained to it; the connection is more casual and informal. You know that sometimes "the best laid plans" fall off the tracks; when this happens, you clean up the train wreck and start over, undeterred.

Though not happening often, when plans change, you're okay with it. In fact, sometimes you change the plan. It's too nice of a Saturday to finish organizing the garage. Let's go for a bike ride instead. True, the next rainy Saturday will likely find you back in the garage, but for now the work can wait.

What an interesting combination of qualities in you're organized, but casual; solid, but compliant; and dependable, but informal. At home and at work, people know they can rely on you. You take great satisfaction in knowing that people think of you as disciplined and responsible, but you also know that you have something of a free spirit in you, and when this spirit moves you, off you go, following the impulse of the moment. You are rightly proud of your work ethic, but you also enjoy your willingness to lay the tools down, crank up the music and play like a child.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Some people live like Marines: duty-bound, disciplined and driven. To these people you might seem uncommitted; where they would never leave work for play or change plans in the middle of their life's forced march, you let the circumstance sway you and move in a different direction, and they don't understand.

Others live like kites on a string, attached by thin threads to the solid ground of responsibility and are blown about by every gust of impulse or imagination. To these people you might seem too cowardly, like you'll flirt with your impulses but never give in fully, play on a Saturday but never blow of the entire work-week to "follow your bliss".

While these Marines and kite-flyers might look down on you for your combination of focus and flexibility, others might be envious. They can't free themselves from a sense that they're not doing enough, or from the equally frustrating feeling that they're not free enough.

And here you are with your accomplishments and your pleasures, getting the job done but also getting your hair blown back as you run with the wind. As far as these people are concerned, you're lucky you've got the best of both of the worlds in which they feel they fail.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

What a great life you have, and a great attitude to boot. You know when to buckle down and push ahead to get the job done, and you do it well. You know when to lay the tools of your trade aside, grab your kite and head for the meadow where you can run with the wind. Many people will see and admire in you this lovely combination of a person who can focus, but who is flexible enough to know when to let the spirit move you in some new and livelier direction.

It's a life they aspire to, and they delight in seeing it played out in your life. They may ask your advice and turn you into a mentor of the full and balanced experience. They will want to know how you do it, what the costs are, and if you get frightened that you're not working hard enough or playing often enough. They may make you think about your own life more than you have, so you can share it with those who want to emulate this balance between flexibility and focus. They may be correct lucky you!

When it comes to Extraversion you are:

OUTGOING

Words that describe you:

* Friendly
* Gregarious
* Full of Life
* Unreserved
* Kindhearted
* Talkative
* Emotional
* Spontaneous
* Vigorous



A General Description of How You Interact with Others

People light you up. In conversations, planning meetings or almost any social situation, you bring your energy and your friendly, outgoing personality into these engagements with other people, and you come away pumped up. You can hardly wait for the next event, as long as other people will be there. And you're good at it.

You know how to communicate. You listen well, the first rule of good communication, and then, when it's your turn, you talk vigorously and with animation; in your uninhibited way you give all that you've got to the encounter.

In situations where you feel very safe, when you know and trust the people you're with, you can be very kindhearted and unrestrained. You let your affection for and pleasure in being with others flow freely. You're wide open And when you get back this same kind of unrestrained warmth, you are deeply satisfied. Because you are so friendly and full of life, these are among your favorite moments.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

As much as you like being with other people, not everyone will like being with you. Hard to believe, but your gregarious and warm manner is not everyone's cup of tea. Some people are more cautious than you in personal encounters; others think the work place should be more formal, more impersonal than is comfortable for you. Still others, who may want more of the spotlight, will find you too much to compete with once you get your lively and outgoing self in motion.

Here's another word of caution. You've been at this warm and open way of relating for a while, but for some people it's a brand new experience. They may be protecting something inside themselves, some fear or guilt or shame, or some private part of their story that they're not yet ready to share. Your openness might threaten them, and they'll take a step back and be reluctant the next time to engage you in the kind of exchange you find so easy and satisfying but they find so dangerous.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Many people, most probably, will be glad to be in the room you're in. At work you make the environment livelier and the banter more interesting, so the time moves swiftly and the experience is a happier one. At home you keep everyone connected because you engage each of them in the conversational action, and as a result they are more connected as well with one another. You make home a warmer and more interesting place for everyone who lives there.

You might also be helpful to some people. There are those who need to talk but aren't very good at it. They don't know how to begin the kind of conversation that would allow them to share whatever is in their personal stories that they'd like or need to talk about. You could make that easier for them with your way with words. Some people just need an example and a little encouragement to come out of their shell and get into the greater fun and personal connectedness that will make their lives so much more satisfying. Again, you might be just the right person to make that happen for them.

So almost everyone will be glad to be with you, you make life more interesting for those you live and work with, and you could help some of your friends who need just a little encouragement to open up and find in themselves the kinds of energetic and warm connections that you thrive on. Not that you are a pushover; in fact, you are often quite assertive. In taking care of yourself you also make sure that others are engaged and energized.
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