Dating "tragedies" that have happened to me

20 dating experiences that I find tragic:

1) The man shows up 1 hour late.
2) The man asks me if I would be willing to step in and be HIS roommate's date since MY roommate became sick right before the date and had to cancel. I finally agree only to find out that the guy was mad that his roommate actually asked me to go and then proceeded to completely ignored me the entire time. He wouldn't even sit by me when we went up the canyon.
3) The man bears his testimony of the movie, "Passion of the Christ"......and actually gets teary eyed.
4) The man asks me, "You don't want anything, do you?" as he points to the food stand. I tell him I am fine. He then tells me, "Good, I really don't have any money to buy treats for the movie anyway." After seating ourselves in our seats he quickly excuses himself to use the bathroom. Then ten minutes into the movie I notice out of the corner of my eye him sneaking M&Ms out of the inside pocket of his jacket, up his chest and then into his mouth during the movie. I think he must of been slightly deaf---because everyone around him (including me) could hear him crunch down on the peanut M&Ms.
5) The man forgets to fill up his gas tank before the date and we run out of gas on our way home from a hockey game. A roommate of mine had to come and bring us gas to get home (luckily, I had a cell phone!).
6) The man proceeds to tell me he is investing in a couples message therapy company that will teach couples how to sexually message each other in order to help them get back together.
7) The above man tried to get me to invest in that company he was starting by telling me it was inspired by God and will make me rich (like him) because we are righteous people!
8) The guy showed up sick at the restaurant (where we were to meet) saying he didn't want to cancel because he wanted to meet me.....he looked miserable!
9) The guy I went out with on a date tells me he would have kiss me during our date at the beach but was afraid of the two huge angels that were flanking either side of me during the night (no joke!   I have to say I owe those two men......or the drugs he was smoking!!! I wouldn't have wanted him to kiss me for anything!).
10. I finally was asked on a date by my high school crush (I think I had a crush on him since I was 12). He takes me to dinner and I order a BLT. Of course when I pick up the sandwich the "oh so juicy" tomato decides to land right on my lap....which I happened to be sporting light tan pants---and yest it landed in the wrong area.....It looked lovely!
11) Right before being picked up to Winter Formal I decided to brush my teeth one last time.....while doing so my mother yells up at me and I jump....a toothpaste blob lands on my boob. My mother and I weren't able to get the toothpaste blob out so I had to sport the dress with a toothpaste stain on my boob the entire night!
12) While sporting my brand new tan pants I entered the downstairs bathroom, in Diamond Bar, right before a date. My date was to be there in less than 10 minutes. Upon sitting down I hear a terrible sound. I look down to see that mustard had splattered all over myself, underwear and new pants. I was furious! I ran out of the bathroom immediately forgetting to pull up my pants on the way (due to the anger) screaming at all of my family members about what had happened (I did get my underwear up).  Surprisingly, instead of support, my entire family burst out laughing. My new pants were ruined and John was the guilty party! My date had to wait while I changed.  Try explain that one to your date!
13) The guy comes to pick me up at the same time my sister Ilene was leaving my apartment.... later on, during the date, he asks me how old I was. I told him my age (If I remember correctly I was 24/25). He then says, "Wow, that's old. Is it hard being single when you are that old?" After which he proceeds to ask how old my sister was, if she was married, and if he could ask her out.
14) Blind date.  Without any previous suggestions on how to dress (I did ask him what we were going to do on our date--t which he replied that it would be a surprise).  The guy picks me up and startes to drive up Hobble Creek Canyon.  Then randomly he pulls his car over on the side of the road, pulls out his bronchiolar, and looks up at the mountains. He then, with much enthusiasm, hands me the bronchiolar and tells me to look at a particular spot. All I could see was what I thought were "hairy pigs."  He then told me we were going to follow that herd of moose.   WHAT!  I looked at the snow covered mountain in alarm!  I was only wearing a very thin T-shirt, jeans, and cute shoes. We proceeded to scale the mountainside, while trying to follow a moving herd of moose, in snow up to my upper thigh. I was not a happy camper as my legs grew numb.  To make matters worst.  He left me as he went running after the herd.  I tried to run after him and did a cartoon face plant.  NOT HAPPY!
15) I was on a triple date with my roommate and another girl. My roommate and I were out with two brothers and the other girl was out with the brothers' best friend. We stopped at a malt shop. We ALL ordered shakes. My roommate's date proceeded to tell the rest of the group that his brother "liked bigger women, like Winnie" whereas he preferred "skinnier women, like Elisa." Boy was I speechless...especially because I wasn't even "large" at the time...just not "bone skinny."
16) The guy spends the whole night telling me all about his ex's boob job. :-&
17) While exiting the Festival of Dance at BYU in the Marriott Center (on our way to the Homecoming dance) I caught my heal on a stair wrong and fell down at least a flight of stairs, I think I exposed myself in the process!  I was so embarrassed!  My date had to run down the stairs in an effort to catch me!
18) While off-roading on a double date with Jacquie, I found that my bladder was too full to make it back to Provo in time so I had to ask the boys if they would stop the car and let me find a secluded area. Unfortunately, as they looked around at the dessert surface we all realized there was no "secluded area."  Both Jacquie and I had to hike about 2 football fields away hoping the boys couldn't see what was happening (luckily Jacquie also had the same problem).
19) My first experience skiing...my date took me to Snowbird (I believe). I warned him I had never been skiing before and that maybe he should go with someone else. He said I would be fine. I told him I had nightmares of falling off the lift and having the seat cut my head off. He laughed and told me that no one could fall off the lift. Well that wasn't true....because as I went to get off the lift I did something wrong and fell right out of the seat--everyone started to panic. Luckily I ducked and the seat didn't take my head off though.  Of course that wasn't the end of the day.  It took me only 5 feet to fall 4 times before I finally reaching the starting point to go down the hill (blue diamond hill no less).  As I started to ski down the hill I did pretty well for about 45 seconds.  Then I crashed!  I crashed so hard that I landed in a split position with both of my skis submerged in the snow (my toes were facing down and in opposite directions)!  I couldn't move or get up.  My date, his cousin and my friend Jacquie all had to come and get my legs unstuck....it was pathetic....luckily they finally budged and I was freed. Truth be told, I walked like I was on a horse for the rest of the day! :-$
20) While giving a guy a huge goodbye my bra broke....no joke....the whole thing flew forward under my shirt....it was a mess!!