In light of my really rough week......the weirdest thing happened to me this weekend! Something that has taught me again how aware the Lord is of everyone and their needs. Know, I only share this in hopes that it might help others as it has helped me. Also, since I am terrible about keeping a journal, that I have this documented so as not to forget.
It all started Saturday morning.....
A woman, Sister Smith, from my old ward called me to ask me about a thought I apparently had given in my testimony over a year ago (wow, I thought, she has a tremendous memory). She told me that her daughter was going to give a talk to a group of adults who were struggling with some changes and that when she was talking with her about it she remembered me saying, in a talk or testimony, something about "compensating blessings" and felt she needed to call me. As she talked to me I immediately knew what she was asking me about.....I had even blogged a bit about it. She was referring to my thoughts I shared about how I felt the Lord had blessed me with "compensating blessings" when He couldn't give me the desires of my heart. I thought it was random that she would call me....but I have found in my life that there is a lot of "not so random" things that happen in our lives if we stop and notice.
We ended up talking for about an hour. As I shared with her the thoughts I had when I bore my testimony, about how the Lord gives us "compensating blessings" when He has to postpone an answer or say no to a righteous desire, my recognition of my "compensating blessings" burned even deeper into my heart. I was able to acknowledge and see again how mercifully the Lord lifted and held me up through some very hard times, how He used others to help bless me and in return blessed them with "compensating blessings" for helping me.
The famous Sound of Music quote came to mind, "When God closes a door somewhere he opens a window," and Sister Smith and I discussed that quote. I then remembered one of my most favorite conference talks given by Elder Scott in the Oct. 1995 conference. I suggested to her that her daughter should look up that talk and review it. I explained to Sister Smith that many members were unaware that Elder Scott's beloved wife was taken from him right before this conference.....and that he had been pleading with the Lord to spare her life. When knowing that background, one can really feel and know the truth he speaks! I told Sister Smith that the talk really would help her daughter in her preperations.
Well, when the conversation ended, I spoke with Shay about it. My heart was tender as I shared with him the memories that were brought up and how I loved the talk by Elder Scott.....
and that was the end of that.....
or at least that is what I thought.
Then today when my parents called me up to say hi. During our converstion they ended up sharing with me a quote from Elder Scott's Oct 1995 talk, as well as one from Elder Hales.
They shared:
Elder Scott:
Now may I share some suggestions with you who face the second source of adversity, the testing that a wise Heavenly Father determines is needed even when you are living a worthy, righteous life and are obedient to His commandments.
Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see Prov. 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.
When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys. It really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do. Yet, when you pray with real conviction, “Please let me know Thy will” and “May Thy will be done,” you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum help from your loving Father.
This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov. 3:5–7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.
and from Elder Hale's talk:
I have come to understand how useless it is to dwell on the whys, what ifs, and if onlys for which there likely will be given no answers in mortality. To receive the Lord’s comfort, we must exercise faith. The questions Why me? Why our family? Why now? are usually unanswerable questions. These questions detract from our spirituality and can destroy our faith. We need to spend our time and energy building our faith by turning to the Lord and asking for strength to overcome the pains and trials of this world and to endure to the end for greater understanding.
I thought it odd that Elder Scott's talk was brought up again in light of yesterday's conversation with Sister Smith.......so decided maybe I should look it up (nothing in our converstion would have suggested to my parents that I needed to hear something on adversity or trials). I then brought it in to Shay and told him what had happened and asked him if he would also like to hear it. He said of course, so I started to read it. I was shocked as I read the following from Elder Scott's talk:
"I testify that when the Lord closes one important door in your life, He shows His continuing love and compassion by opening many other compensating doors through your exercise of faith.
My heart burned when I read the word "compensating".......wow! And there was the "Sound of Music" thought Sister Smith and I had talked about yesterday as well as the word "compensating."
It then dawned on me that the Lord was answering some of our questions, worries and concerns. That it was not a coincedance that Sister Smith felt inspired to call me out of the blue to discuss the "compensating blessings" thought.
I recongnized, that although I have struggled with that fact that we are experiencing unemployment in our home, that the Lord has more than "compensated" us in our efforts. That even though our lives are not as we would like them now, we are growing together in ways that can only occur in such situations. I am reminded that I have a long way to go, but that the Lord isn't "punishing me" but molding me and strengthening my faith. I appreciate deeply the sage words of our beloved apostles and know them to be true. I am so grateful that the Lord sees fit to bless us and answer our prayers......even if He has to do it more than once (like for me with Sister Smith and my parents.....).
I am also so grateful to individuals who are not afraid to act on thoughts and feelings. Often times one worries (or I do at least) about being "too churchy," "too open" or "too spiritual" ---yet, if my parents or Sister Smith hadn't acted on how they felt, would I (as well as Shay) experienced the sweet spirit and answers that we did?
Thank you, thank you Mom, Dad and Sister Smith for being brave in sharing with me! You have truly increased my testimony that the Savior knows me completely and personally! I am so grateful for this knowledge! What hope it brings, espeically during a trial!
Please note: I share these thoughts and experiences only so that if any of you out there are struggling--as at times I do---that you too (along with me) may be reminded that the Lord knows us and our situation, that He knows what we need to go through to become like Him, and that He does give us "compensating blessings" even if we can only see them after the trials are over!
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